Frozen Justice by A.W. Kaylen

Author:A.W. Kaylen [Kaylen, A.W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-03-31T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

There comes a point of fatigue, a kind of physical or psychological limit, that when you cross it the burden you’d been carrying slips away from you. And all the things you used to worry about disappear. You realize that none of it meant much at all. That you were just torturing yourself for no reason. Because in the end the only thing that matters is life and death. The rest is a mirage, a story you tell yourself. A fantasy.

Chase was sitting there watching Adams cram half a burger into his mouth like it was nothing. The usual neat, clean movements. She found herself eating too. She found herself munching on a cheeseburger. She found herself responding to every subtle sensation: The smooth, warm bun against her fingers. The thick, juicy meat between her teeth. The hot grease sliding back her throat. The steamy vapor of fresh coffee. The sweet tang of ketchup.

Adams said nothing. She said nothing. Nothing needed to be said. Everything out there could stay out there. Her heart throbbed deep and loud and powerfully. Her blood ran hot through her veins, warming her extremities. The rambling voices at other tables formed no impression on her. Even her own inner voice had ceased its round-the-clock blitz on her mind. So, this was what people who lived on the edge felt. The world had shut the hell up, and in its place was this: Two cheeseburgers and a coffee, and the warm, trickling sensation of being alive.

She’d felt something close to this once before. It was right after solving the Deborah Doyle case. At the time she had associated it with solving the case. She had associated it with Steve, the NYPD cop who had been by her side. She had started a relationship with him on the misguided notion he was the one making her warm and fuzzy inside. It didn’t last. Once the babbling tongue of her manic mind started up its whispers again, she knew she’d made a mistake. Just being with Steve wasn’t enough, because her mind was always someplace else. It was out there dredging the gutters of New York City looking for trouble, looking to satiate an unquenched need.

It was starting to dawn on her what had momentarily released her. It was the moment she touched death. When she faced off against a murdering cop and pumped a 9 millimeter round straight into his forehead. It was the feeling of complete control that came with it.

What did that make her?

She met Adams’ eyes. What he saw in her was probably the exact same thing she saw inside him: Nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. And it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever felt. It was an undisturbed pond. The pond had frozen over. It wouldn’t be disturbed. That was the cost, wasn’t it? Emptiness. That was the cost of being set free from the pain. But hell, wasn’t it so very worth it?

Just then the doors of the diner swung open—the world making its ugly self known to them.

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